Giving and taking criticism
Friday 26th March 2010 (Mohammed Mumtaz Khan. Keele University, UK)
Audhu billahi min ash shaytanir rajeem! Bismillah ir Rahmanir Raheem!
Al hamdu lillahi rabbil ‘alameen. Was salaatu was salaamu ‘alaa ashrafil anbiyaee wal mursaleen. Sayidinaa wa nabi’na wa moulanaa Muhammadin wa’ala aalihee wa sahbihee wa sallim.
‘Amma b’ad:
وَلْتَكُن مِّنْكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَأُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ “Wal Wal takunN minkum ummatunN yad’auna ilal khayri wa ya-muruna bil ma’rufi wa yanhona ‘an il munkar Wa ulaaika hum mul muflihoon”
“Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong: They are the ones to achieve success”
(Surah 3 Ali ‘Imran Verse 104).
Dear sisters, brothers, respected elders and learned colleagues, assalamu’alaykum!
This ayah is the essence of Islam. Being able to give criticism, being able to take criticism and being able to act on that criticism is what Islam is all about. So it’s not just about talking, it’s about doing. Islam is dynamic; it’s no use just making fancy speeches and not acting upon what we say! And this is what I’m going to talk about today, insha Allah.
If someone loves you, they will be critical sometimes! And if they see a fault in themselves, they’ll try to correct themselves as well. Just think, if someone tells you to your face that your breath smells, do they hate you or do they love you? The alternative is someone keeping quiet in front of you and telling fifty other people and they are laughing behind your back!
When I was young, I came to this country as a child, about nine years old. I was very close to my father but had he had to part with me because he desired for me good education and a better life than the life he had.
So I was brought up by my older brothers in this country. And believe me, it’s completely different to being brought up by your parents, because you feel you have a right over your parents whereas your brothers, well it’s not easy at the best of times. However, they did their best and may Allah (s) reward them and their wives for looking after me.
At that age, as you know, it’s easy to get into bad habits with your peers at school and I was no exception. I started smoking with a friend of mine to see what it was like. Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately), I got caught and my brothers were very strict and told me off really sternly. However, both of them themselves were smokers! Although I was too young to say anything to them and stopped smoking because I was really scared, they realised that if they didn’t give up themselves, it would send out the wrong message.
Therefore, the next day, they threw away their last packet of Benson and Hedges. Never to smoke again!
This act of theirs has left an indelible mark on me and I have remembered it ever since.
This is what Islam in action is all about. When the Companions used to leave each other, they would recite:
“Wal asr, innal insaana la fikhusr, il alladheena ‘amanu wa amilu salihaati wa tawaso bil haqqi wa tawaso bi sabr .”
This is the famous surah, Al Asr. Allah (s) swears by time that insaan (humankind) is in a state of loss (we are all losers because we are wasting time). Apart from those who believe and do good deeds and admonish others with the truth and bear with patience that which comes their way. You see, the Companions (r) were totally focussed on the hereafter, their only mission was to spread the deen and so they admonished each other to do this wherever they went.
Last year, I was driving up to Keele for the Jumu’ah prayer with my brother and he said to me: “Why do you give khutbahs every week when it doesn’t really make a difference!”
I thought this was quite a silly observation at the time, but later I realised that every week we give reminders and we talk about punishments and rewards and if I’m totally honest, I would be upset if no one was following my advice! I get upset at myself sometimes talking the talk and not being able to walk the walk…
So today, I don’t want to be judgemental, but I DO want you to monitor yourselves. You must ask yourselves this question:
“Is Islam a personal matter like the other religions or is it more than that?”
Don’t belittle yourselves, and don’t belittle your deen. It’s not just another religion – IT’S A WAY OF LIFE!
You are VERY IMPORTANT MUSLIMS, especially in this university environment where you are the future intellectuals. You are the future surgeons, saving lives with the idhn (permission) of Allah (s). And more importantly, you are the ambassadors of the Prophet (s).
You see, before Muhammad (s) came, people were lucky enough to have Prophets sent to them to remind them. Every time things went too far, a Prophet would come. But after Muhammad (s), this came to an end. Now, we have to fend for ourselves.
But let us look at this positively! Allah (s) trusts this ummah to deliver His message. Subhan Allah, this is a great honour.
What is more, all the world’s eyes are on us Muslims. Islam is under scrutiny. Why? Because the Shaytan and the friends of Shaytan are afraid of Islam.
Remember! The sunnah of Allah does not change, the sunnah of the Prophets does not change and the sunnah of the Devil does not change.
Why is there no media anger against other faiths? Because there’s always ONE TRUTH.
So we are Muslims entrusted with the truth! This is for us a great honour, but also a great responsibility.
Before people buy into your arguments, they look at you. Your behaviour, your character, your habits, what you do with your spare time, how you dress, what kind of friends you hang around with, your taste in clothes, what you listen to…
So before a non Muslim friend says to you “Hey Abdul, my man! How comes you flirting wiv dat girl man! I fought you said all females are your sistaz”, you have to wake up and scrutinise yourself!
You see, people buy people before they buy the product. Believe me, I’ve been in business since 1980 when I left school!
So if you work for Vodafone, how you interact with the customer will decide the customer’s perception of Vodafone! If you are polite and caring, they will forget that Vodafone is a huge company greedy for your money!
But there’s nothing wrong with the product you’re selling! ISLAM is a great product, it’s The TRUTH!
What is wrong is that WE’RE very bad salespeople!
Now if you think about the image of Islam, it’s at an all time low. People associate everything negative with Islam! What is more, ALL attention is on Islam and Muslims.
Again, let’s look at this positively, let’s use the interest to our advantage. Let’s show the world the characteristics of a Muslim.
A few weeks ago, someone left a baby at one of the local mosques. The baby died. Even now there are flowers and teddy bears where the baby was found. The media descended on the mosque. Mosque, baby, illegitimate relationship, Muslims!
Just think, one act of fornication and all this! But think about how this started. The two perpetrators didn’t meet all of a sudden and the baby was born. They must have met somewhere or been introduced by someone. What I’m saying is that it must started from something very small. The eyes meet, when they shouldn’t, then it leads to another thing, then another; each time, the person thinks it’s only a bit of harmless fun. Until it’s too late.
This is why Allah (s) says in the Holy Quran “La takraba az zina!” “Don’t even come near fornication!”
Cigarettes, drugs, alcohol have to be bought to be consumed, whereas your passions, your lower self is with you all the time. It needs CONTROL. This is why in Islam, there is no free mixing between the sexes.
Many non-Muslims even know about this! So when they see disparity between us and our deen, they mock us, we are easy prey for the tabloids!
There was a time when non-Muslims would deposit money with Muslims with long beards, the longer the beard, the more trustworthy the Muslim! But not today!
But youngsters! I have good news. All this can change! Because you are the ones most capable of change. This is in the middle of the Quran, you have the likes of inspirational surahs such as Surah Maryam, Surah Yusuf, Surah Kahf.
A young girl barely 13 or 14 years of age is given the responsibility of giving birth to a great Prophet and taking on all of her peoples’ taunts and mockery. You girls and boys are the ones Allah addresses when He wants change. The older you get the more resistant you are to change. It’s no use teaching me something, you’ve heard the saying ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’!
Yusuf (p) was a youngster but he controlled his lower passions. The woman offered herself to Him but He refused. He preferred to go to prison than to participate in obscenity. He was young, in His prime.
Ibraheem (a) was a young man, taking on all His family, His father and His tribe.
The people in the Cave were young men, the word used is feti. The word for chivalry is futuwwa, being honourable, kind, helping, caring. So youth is connected to being chivalrous, not the opposite as is the case with many youngsters today.
But, let me remind you, it isn’t cool to walk around like a gangster.
Luqman the Wise (may Allah be pleased with Him) gives advice to his son: “Don’t walk about the earth as if you own it, don’t raise your voice like the eyoning of a donkey, an ass!”
I want you to take this advise and IMPLEMENT it. Don’t hang around shouting and chatting, don’t disturb other students, especially in the library.
When I was studying here at Keele as a mature student, trying to finish off essays in the library IT section was impossible sometimes because of some sections of students chitting and chatting and using foul language! And you know, most of the time, the noise was made by Pakistani students! Because I could understand Urdu I could understand Punjabi, Mirpuri, Pathohari, I knew what they were saying, and I’m almost deaf in one ear!!
In this country, a lot goes on that is bad. For example, promiscuity and drinking, pornography to name a few of the evils. However, one thing this country does have is the RIGHT TO CHOOSE.
In contrast, in some parts of the Muslim world, especially in villages, where people are illiterate and have little or no knowledge of Islam, there is a lot of jahilliyya (ignorance). And also because there is bigotry from the males, sex is treated as taboo and a lot of wrong goes on.
However, in this environment, we are educated. And what is more we have a choice: We can engage in these evil practices OR we can turn away.
Each one of you who is young has strong passions at this stage of your lives. This is a blessing from Allah (s). However, this blessing has to be controlled. The Prophet (s) prescribed MARRIAGE. If you love a sister, marry her, Allah will do the rest. If you can’t, stay away from sisters and fast. Fasting will help you to control your carnal desires.
You can research into details regarding these issues. I don’t have time to delve into these so please forgive me for being short and blunt.
Simply put, you cannot afford to think of the next life as being a great distance away. Bring it into this life, think of it as close to you as your shadow. Sometimes, the childish and scary ways are more effective. For example, when we were little kids, if we didn’t behave, we were warned to close our ears and listen to the sound of the hellfire. When we did this, we were reminded that this is what Allah (s) has in store for us if we didn’t do as we were told.
So, we must use all means to think of the hereafter. The Prophet (s) Himself was not just a Bashir (giver of glad tidings), He was a Nazir (Warner) as well.
We must also remember that our bodily parts will testify against us if we have misused them in this life. This is in Surah Yaseen. How can this be? Because in the next life, it will be IMPOSSIBLE to speak lies, people will not be able to say anything BUT THE TRUTH.
Furthermore, we will be resurrected in the state that we leave this world. So think about what your last act should be in this world, reading the Qur’an, listening to a nasheed or listening to a vulgar song.
Yes, of course it’s not easy, there is peer pressure etc. But then again, the better the person you want to become, the harder you will have to work. But THE GREATER THE REWARD! There is a hadith of the Prophet (s) that talks of the seven categories of Muslims who will be given the shade on the Day of Judgement when there will be no shade for anyone. And one of these will be a young man who said no to the seduction of a rich woman for the sake of Allah (s).
Again, I emphasise that it is not easy. After all, how long can you stay away from your peers? But, stay away we must, again using simple techniques. We have to be strong and NOT BE NAIVE. Would you jump into a well if someone asked you, would you kill someone at someone’s order? No you wouldn’t! So why follow other people’s silly advice when you should know better? You are undergraduates, post graduates, thinkers, not primary school kids!
We cannot and MUST not compromise on the deen. We cannot dilute this great way of life.
Why do we have to be so proactive? Because, no new religion is to come after Islam and no new Prophet is to come after Muhammad (s)
So it is our duty, whether we like it or not to speak out when we see something un-Islamic going on. This goes for everyone, young and old. If you old, you have no reason to be passive and think “Oh well, nothing will change, so why should I do anything?” WRONG! We are not the ones to bring about the change- it is Allah (s)! Our duty is only to tell off, (wa ma ‘alayna ilal balaagh). Allah will take care of the rest! Think about the hadith of the Prophet (s) who said that when the Angel of Death was told to destroy a community, He came back and said that there was a pious man who was always worshipping! What should he do? Allah (s) replied: Destroy this community and start with him first! Meaning that this man was passive, he did not enjoin the good and forbid the wrong. He was of the opinion that religion is a personal affair.
So you must realise dear elders that we must tell someone when the other brother, son or daughter is wrong because this criticism is LOVE. You must not be embarrased. These are your daughters and sons, your duty doesn’t end with your blood relations, it continues to those related to you through the deen!
The Prophet (s) said: “Be with your brother when he does good and when he does bad.” One of the companions was puzzled, he asked “Ya Rasul Allah (s)! I can understand being with my brother when he is doing good but what do you mean be with him when he is doing bad?” The Prophet (s) explained that you must tell him off when he is wrong!
FINALLY TO FINISH OFF:
To the Youngsters:
Treat this mosque like the cave that the youngsters ran away to and found the solace and Mercy of Allah (s)! Come to the mosque, come to the committee members, ask them for any help. Talk to anyone you feel comfortable to talk to. Don’t worry about your mistakes, we all make mistakes, it is part of human nature to make mistakes, but a bigger mistake would be to not learn from our mistakes.
To the Mosque Committee Members:
Appoint the right people, take on responsibilities, work with each other. Don’t be harsh with your sisters and brothers, listen to them, overlook their minor faults, help them in a positive way. Let’s also try to get learned scholars here to get the message across and answer questions! Don’t chase the youngsters away from the mosque, they should be attracted and made to feel safe here. They should feel safe from your hands and your tongue. Remember! The Prophet (s) was gentle with the believers hareesun ‘alaykum, he was Rauf, He had compassion for the Muslims.
So, I admonish you and I admonish myself! Criticise, take criticism and act on that criticism! That is the way of Islam.
May Allah give you, me and all Muslims the quwwa (power), the tawfeeq (ability) and the himma (strength) to be able to do this and be the best ambassadors of Islam. Ameen.
ARABIC KHUTBAHS, then salah.