In Honour of Men in Tears

By Mahmood Sanglay

Crying as an expression of emotion is believed to be characteristic of women and uncharacteristic of men. Research in the social sciences supports this belief. Both men and women may have an equal capacity to shed tears, but social and cultural influences cause men to be less prone to crying than women.

But this culturally acquired deficiency in men, who are not as readily given to tears as women, is a lesser point. The more relevant point relates to the tears of men who love the Prophet (SAW – peace be upon him).

Every Muslim can claim to love Muhammad (SAW), and many are moved to tears by this love. But few of us understand the dynamics of love and weeping as exemplified by the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) himself. As the universal model, the Holy Prophet (SAW) was equally a model in whom is found the most poignant lessons of love, from that for the Divine, to that for the humblest of Allah’s (God’s) creatures. The poignant episodes in his life should stand out as the foremost sources of inspiration for emulating his model, but they don’t. Instead, we are constantly pre-occupied with parochial issues such the length of one’s trousers whilst praying.

Perhaps the chief detractor from the essence of emulating the model is the overinvestment in the polemics of public outrage—as opposed civil public discourse—over issues such as cartoons and slander against the Prophet (SAW). Too often our defence of Muhammad (SAW) become bitter and irrational bouts of antagonism towards the offenders with an underinvestment of faith in Allah as the Ultimate and Ever-sufficient in protecting His Beloved.

If our poor defence of the Prophet (SAW) is due to a lack of rational behaviour and formidable intellectual discourse, it is also due to a lack of a deeper affective (emotional) dimension. Hearts softened by the tears of the faithful appreciate love of the Prophet (SAW) more truly than hearts hardened by the drought of the doubtful.

And love for the Prophet (SAW) by the faithful cannot be isolated from the love of the Prophet (SAW) for his ummah (the global Muslim community) and the love of Allah for the Prophet (SAW). This fascinating dynamic of love is illustrated in a dramatic grand narrative in a particularly poignant hadith (saying of the Prophet) reported by ’Amr ibn al ’As (a companion of the Prophet). It is recorded in Muslim that the Prophet (SAW) wept when he recited the pleas of Prophets ’Isa (Jesus) (AS) and Ibrahim (Abraham) (AS) as recorded in the Qur’an in 5:118 and 14:36 respectively.

Both Ibrahim and ’Isa (AS) submitted to the authority of Allah Whose decree shall determine the fate of those among their people who refused to heed their warning. However, Muhammad (SAW), upon contemplating the fate of his ummah, ventured further and made an earnest appeal to Allah when 5:118 and 14:36 were recited, weeping for the salvation of his ummah and appealing to Allah to forgive us all.

The drama in the hadith unfolds as Allah sends the Archangel Jibreel (Gabriel) to enquire from the Prophet (SAW) why he weeps. Why does Allah dispatch an angel to pose what seems a rhetorical question to His Most Beloved? The answer lies in the response of Allah to the report of Jibreel: “Verily, We will please you with regard to your ummah and will never displease you.” None of Allah’s messengers had been privileged and empowered to petition Allah with the state of the ummah  as Muhammad (SAW) was. The Most Beloved of Allah implored His mercy out of concern for the fate of his ummah. The tears of the Prophet (SAW) was for love of his ummah. What love have we for him? What tears have we for his love?

The most poignant episodes in Islam encompass physical events like times of personal loss in the life of Muhammad (SAW), like the death of his dearest kin, or the martyrdom of his grandson, Imam Hussain (RA). However, much of the poignancy is vested in the spontaneous and proactive emotional response of the Prophet (SAW) to the state of his ummah.

The Qur’an is a fulcrum of love and tears between the Prophet (SAW) and his companions. The Words of Allah were revealed to the Prophet (SAW) and his companions realized the significance of this phenomenon in their time. Their faith had inspired in them awe of the recipient heart of divine revelation. The Prophet (SAW) receiving the revealed Word of Allah was no small matter to the companions. Neither is it a small irony that the Prophet (SAW) should request any of them to recite this Word to him.

Such a request befell the companion of the Prophet (SAW) ’Abdullah ibn Masud who is widely regarded as among the highest authorities on the Qur’an chiefly because he was referred to as such by the Prophet (SAW) himself. This companion, in earnest modesty, almost hesitated: “Shall I recite (the Qur’an) to you while it has been revealed to you?” The Prophet (SAW) replied that he loves to hear the Qur’an recited by someone other than himself.

’Abdullah ibn Masud proceeded to recite, but the Prophet (SAW) halted him at the following verse of sura An-Nisa: “How, then, [will the sinners fare on Judgment Day,] when We shall bring forward witnesses from within every community, and bring thee [O Prophet] as witness against them?” (4:41)

Tears streamed down the cheeks of the Prophet (SAW). Again, the source of his sadness is his deep concern for his ummah. Allah will call on the Prophet (SAW) as the witness among witnesses, as the one whose testimony will ultimately be upheld in the final judgment of all. And ultimately, many among his ummah shall fall. Thus wept Muhammad (SAW) for love of his ummah. How weep we for love of Muhammad (SAW)?

The greatest stimulus for our tears today remains the Qur’an. And the reason for this is not only that the Qur’an is an eminently available and accessible scripture. It is a popular text recited by the most gifted reciters in the world and familiar to over a billion faithful. The melody and rhythm of its reciters are grasped by millions, live at the two holiest sites of Islam in Makkah and Madinah. The compelling sound of the Qur’an is further disseminated across the globe in audio and video formats through electronic media like the internet and various social networking sites.

The mujawwad style of recitation—better known as tilawah—was originally popularised since the 1950s by famous reciters like Shaikh Mustafa Isma’il and Shaikh ’Abd al-Basit ’Abd al-Samad. Invariably, the recitation emphasises the melody and emotional intensity of the Qur’an. Technically, their rendition foreground the acoustic and emotive aspects of sound and meaning. In simple terms, the sound and meaning of the recitation is supported by the emotional state of the reciter.

Shaikh Saud al-Shuraim, who seemingly always displays extraordinary control and stoicism in his recitation, breaks down at verses 9 and 10 of sura Naml and does not recover his composure until a minute later. In these verses Musa (Moses) (AS) is assured by Allah to have no fear after he throws down his staff and sees it move like a serpent. Similarly, in a taraweeh (the additional evening prayers held during the month of Ramadhan) prayer in 2009 the shaikh is overcome in his entire recitation of the first 22 verses of sura Qasas, which also deals with the story of Musa (AS).

However, there are an infinite number of stimuli for tears in Qur’anic recitation. The one that is relevant here is the role of Muhammad (SAW). And a particularly apposite case in point is the recitation on Burda Night of the Syrian Shaikh Murtada Bakour in April 2007 at the Zaytuna Institute, California, USA. The video of the recitation is on YouTube and it captures the sound of a youthful reciter whose exuberance is tempered with the sacred message of Allah’s love for His Prophet (SAW).

And the message is that of sura (Chapter) Ahzab, verses 40-48 which addresses the momentous role of Muhammad (SAW) as a witness, a bearer of glad tidings and a warner. The intensity of the emotion elevates the listeners to tears in their deepening love of the Beloved of Allah. This sura is one of many in the Qur’an in which the beauty of the recitation touches the heart of the believer and whose veneration for the Prophet (SAW) is amplified.

Only insincere and hardened hearts fail to be touched by such renditions, even if they are viewed as video recordings. Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar said: “If I could pray to move, prayers would move me.” The Roman emperor lived at a time when men were not given to crying.
Perhaps insincerity and hardened hearts are not uncommon today. Ironically, in 2004 Kleenex funded research by the Social Issues Research Centre and found that over the last two decades the vast majority of men and women view crying as acceptable for men. But this kind of emotive response is in the context of public display and with specific reference to public figures like politicians, entertainers and sportsmen.

The key message now is: real men do cry. Indeed, it may even be fashionable for men to shed tears openly. Much of it relates to profane love, but none of it relates to spirituality. And therefore the love of Muhammad (SAW) is so much more relevant today.

[This article was kindly sent by Adamslist, a South African Muslim lifestyle newsgroup]